Our second home study visit was over this past weekend. D and I tidied up the main floor a bit and talked over our views on adoption again as sort of a preparation to meeting with our new social worker. We were both nervous – I do not think I have wanted someone to like me this badly since I met D’s parents for the first time. I made up for my jitters by being extra smiley and bubbly like I do, but really, in the end, I am decently sure we made a good impression. She was certainly enthusiastic and we were happy to hear that she would be our social worker for the whole duration of our adoption (that means even after placement as we send back reports to South Africa on how our family is doing).
Was it anywhere as terrifying as I thought it would be? No way. It did not feel like an interrogation to me, and the things she asked where not really that much of a surprise for me; D did mention later a couple of questions caught him off guard but they were not too hard to answer. But it was almost fun for me – talker that I am – to share myself and my hopes for a family and why I thought we were a good fit for adoption.
The interview sort of went like so:
- Did you have a happy childhood? What was it like?
- What are you parents like: their jobs, their hobbies, what was their parenting style? What do you think you learned about parenting from them?
- What was their marriage like? How did your parents handle finances?
- Did you get along with your siblings? Your other family members?
- How was school for you? What were your grades like? Were you involved in any sports or other organizations? What about college?
- Were you ever abused or sexually assaulted?
- Have you been to therapy?
- How important is religion to you? How did it shape your childhood, your world views, how do you practice today? How will you share your religion with your children?
- Describe yourself. What do you like to do? What are you hobbies, interests?
- How did you meet your spouse? How long have you been together, how would you describe your marriage, etc.?
- What experiences do you have with children?
- What would you say was the hardest part of your life – when did you struggle the most?
- Do you feel prepared to be a transracial family? Are you comfortable adopting a black child as white parents?
- How do you plan on handling poor world views on adoption?
And some more I have probably forgotten.
Intrusive? Yes, of course. But worth it.
We have already scheduled our last meeting (squee) for the end of this month. This will include a tour of our home and another sit down regarding our adoption training. I am under the impression this will be more oriented towards whether or not we are good prospective parents for adoption being that they want to make sure we understand the trauma, loss, and hardships that will be involved in the process. That we understand there are resources, there needs to be patience and love, among other things. Our worry will probably top this last meeting, but I am feeling more confidant and excited about our prospects – it helps we learned about another placement through our South Africa adoption group. The joy and wonder is real, folks!