Wait, what month is it?

I am still trying to process the fact that it is now December. It cannot possibly be five months since we officially started our adoption process.

Except that it is. To tell the truth, I thought we would be done with our home study by now. That our house would be entirely fixed up, waiting on approval from USCIS and working on our dossier. That maybe, maybe we’d even be waiting for a match around this time. I dunno if it was the prospect of being able to build my family through adoption or life in general that made me so naive, but here we are. Waiting for an electrician to fix up our out-of-date fire alarms so we can pass the fire safety inspection and get on to this home study. Seriously, folks. I am so ready to move on to the next step.

To keep ourselves upbeat, D and I just remind ourselves that this is what it will be like with a kid – to not expect to be able to keep to the intended schedule. We have our jobs, our house, our rabbits, our health to keep track of. And later there will be an awesome kiddo that will definitely take up more time and attention than this process is otherwise taking. I pray that we will have the strength and wisdom to handle parenthood with grace, haha!

We are really close to end of this first step. Really really. I can taste it. I get super afraid sometimes. A lot, actually. I guess it is first-time parents jitters. Will I be good enough? I feel like I need more time to prepare and have to remind myself I’ll have months of doing nothing soon. Nothing but waiting. Dreading those months. I’ll have to fill up that space with books on parenting, adoptive and otherwise.

Keep us in your thoughts! Home study almost down and then we’ll be on to the international portion. OH – we do have two webinars with our international agency next week specifically on the South Africa program. If I’m not running around like a chicken with head cut off (seriously, got an electrician and handyman coming over, a poster session, and two papers on top of the holidays), I’ll do my best to share info here!

Happy holidays, folks.

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